


Dick-Burr

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: (blame my straight friend), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dick Jokes, Gen, Group chat, Memes, also this is all based off an actual group chat with my friends, and im giving it too you anyways, apparently, burr dies, everyone is gay as hell (except for angelica), everyone is kind of gay, except for angelica, im going to leave this before it gets any worse, im sorry, im very tired, its one in the morning, jefferson doesnt want to be here, jefferson leaves, kill me, nobody asked for or wanted this, reference to heathers and the reynolds pamphlet, text fic, this happened around christmas, this is really random
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-03-03 01:20:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13330458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A Hamilton text fic that no one wanted





	Dick-Burr

**Author's Note:**

> Non-Stahp: Hamilton  
> TurtleSquad: Laurens  
> A.Burr Sir: Burr  
> PegLeg: Peggy  
> Baguette Baguette Bitch: Lafayette  
> *angelica*: Angelica  
> TJeffs: Jefferson
> 
>  
> 
> I have no original ideas and this all came from a real group chat.
> 
> This is a joke, please do not take it seriously

_Non-Stahp has added TurtleSquad, A.Burr Sir, PegLeg, Baguette Baguette Bitch, *angelica* and TJeffs to the group chat_

_Non-Stahp has changed the group chat to ITS DUCKING CHRISTMAS_

TurtleSquad: I love ducks

Non-Stahp: Quack

_Non-Stahp has changed the group name to ITS FUCKING CHRISTMAS_

PegLeg: Shrek is love Shrek is Life

A.Burr Sir: ack

TurtleSquad: u wot m8

*angelica*: it was then that Peggy lost all of her friends

*angelica*: Forever.

TurtleSquad: Rip

PegLeg: angie pls

PegLeg: this is the fifth time today

PegLeg: that you

PegLeg: have disowned me

PegLeg: why

Non-Stahp: Washington is Love Washington is Life

TurtleSquad: George Washington = Shrek *Confirmed*

Non-Stahp: Well, I mean he could be with how salty and green he is…

Non-Stahp: im sorry george ily

PegLeg: lol yea

PegLeg: suuuuure

TurtleSquad: HOOOO BOY

Baguette Baguette Bitch: Ho?

TurtleSquad: HO HO HO

TJeffs: What the hack even is this chat

TJeffs: wait why am I even here

Non-Stahp: BECAUSE FUCK YOU JEFFERSON

TJeffs: FUCK YOU TOO HAMILTON

Non-Stahp: YOU WISH

TJeffs: wait

Non-Stahp: no homo

Baguette Baguette Bitch: yes homo

TurtleSquad: aLL OF THE HOMO

Non-Stahp: wait nevermind

Non-Stahp: the entire homo

PegLeg: Check yourself before you riggity shrek yourself

*angelica*: Margarita

A.Burr Sir: oh god

A.Burr Sir: what the heck

TurtleSquad: A-A-RON

A.Bir Sir: No it’s AARON

TurtleSquad: that’s not what your mom said last night……

Non-Stahp: John, yes

TurtleSquad: thank

_Non-Stahp has changed the group name to Duck December_

TurtleSquad: Duck-cember

TurtleSquad: Duck-ber

TurtleSquad: Dick-Burr

TurtleSquad: OH NO I MEANT DUCK

A.Burr Sir: what was that?

Non-Stahp: Jack said a bad word

TurtleSquad: it was a typo I swear on my TMNT collection

Non-Stahp: Pardon me, are you Dick Burr, Sir?

PegLeg: That depends

PegLeg: Who’s asking

TurtleSquad: mE

*angelica*: WHO THE DUCK IS ME

TurtleSquad: Me is me

TurtleSquad: Me me

TurtleSquad: Meme

TurtleSquad: MEME

TurtleSquad: *MIND BLOWN*

Non-Stahp: Me inside of me

_Non-Stahp has changed the group chat to DICK-BURR_

TurtleSquad: HA

*angelica*: alex wtf

TurtleSquad: Meme inside of me

Non-Stahp: John gets me

TurtleSquad: XD

TJeffs: laURENS WTF

TurtleSquad: idk anymore

Baguette Baguette Bitch: Thomas get a room

TJeffs: WITH WHO?!?!?!

TurtleSquad: With yourself

Non-Stahp: oooohhhhh

TJeffs: you are all actual five year olds

PegLeg: thanks

Baguette Baguette Bitch: you know what’s great

Baguette Baguette Bitch: dick jokes

A.Burr Sir: dicks and their jokes are great

TurtleSquad: yes

PegLeg: Burr is really gay confirmed?

TurtleSquad: Really? Bitch me too damn

Non-Stahp: oh yeah totally*

A.Burr Sir: No guys I’m totally straight

PegLeg: is you tho

Non-Stahp: lol im not

Baguette Baguette Bitch: Am I?

Baguette Baguette Bitch: Am you?

PegLeg: aM I?

TurtleSquad: *gASP*

Baguette Baguette Bitch: *gasp* aswell

*angelica*: *cry*

Non-Stahp: *gay*

PegLeg: I am confused

PegLeg: Just like my sexuality

TurtleSquad: *cries in queer*

*angelica*: *cries in straight*

Non-Stahp: laughrs in queeght

TJeffs: what

Non-Stahp: its both

A.Burr Sir: …….

A.Burr Sir: k

PegLeg: Alex = Bisexual…..?

Non-Stahp: that makes sense

TurtleSquad: Mystery solved

Baguette Baguette Bitch: okay so who else is gay

*angelica*: im not

*angelica*: I do not like THE WOMEN

Non-Stahp: Jefferson?

PegLeg: angie likes

PegLeg: THE DICK

*angelica*: ……..

*angelica*: I can’t argue

Baguette Baguette Bitch: ew that’s gross to say

*angelica*: but I want to

Non-Stahp: only gay people like dick

*angelica*: *gags in straight*

A.Burr Sir: wait

TurtleSquad: Wow Angelica, you must have been so scared. You’re so brave to have come out like that to everyone

*angelica*: I know

PegLeg: I’m so proud

*angelica*: coming out as straight

*angelica*: so hard

*angelica*: and I’m a woman too

Non-Stahp: oooo hard

*angelica*: I have had such a hard life

*angelica*: ALEX

TurtleSquad: I bet it was a looooooong process

TJeffs: stop making dick jokes

PegLeg: SOOOO JOHN

PegLeg: I’VE HEARD YOU LIKE TO

PegLeg: SPILL THE TEA

Non-Stahp: I do

TurtleSquad: *sips tea in genderqueer*

Non-Stahp: but I’m not john

TurtleSquad: B O I

Non-Stahp: I haven’t come out as John

Baguette Baguette Bitch: Damn

Baguette Baguette Bitch: Truth

PegLeg: When you come out as John

TurtleSquad:  ALEX I SWEAR TO MICHAELANGELO ON A TRICYCLE

Non-Stahp: Okay I’ll stip

Non-Stahp: Strip

Non-Stahp: Stop*

TurtleSquadL:*After The Reynolds Pamphlet*

Non-Stahp: I’m not stripping

TurtleSquad: Burr: Talk less, smile more

TurtleSquad: Burr: Alex, don’t let them know that you’re a whore

_TJeffs has left the group chat._

TurtleSquad: oops

TurtleSquad: I scared him

A.Burr Sir: this chat makes me wanna die

A.Burr Sir: okay, so, I’m going to go die now

Non-Stahp: …….

Non-Stahp: no you’re not

Non-Stahp: Ignore that

A.Burr Sir: why

TurtleSquad: Because I love you

A.Burr Sir: Hmmmmmm

Non-Stahp: It’s allllll a dreeeeaaaaammm

A.Burr Sir: I don’t think it is though

TurtleSquad: Burr just accept yourself and you’ll feel better

TurtleSquad: Except my love and charity

TurtleSquad: And memes

*angelica*: JOHN

TurtleSquad: *hugs knees and cries in gay*

*angelica*:  *laugh manically in straight*

A.Burr Sir: *sighs*

PegLeg: *pats back*

A.Burr Sir: *dies*

Baguette Baguette Bitch: Me too bitch

Baguette Baguette Bitch: Me too

_A.Burr Sir has changed the group chat to I Dress Like I’m Dead And From The 80’s_

_TurtleSquad has changed the group chat to SCREW YOU DICK-BURR IS QUEEN_

Non-Stahp: I agree with Jack

TurtleSquad: The one the only

TurtleSquad: Dick-Burr

 

**_THE END (:_ **

 


End file.
